Chapter One: Know Your Stars Clique Style
by LLama77me
Summary: This is my first fanfic. Its a take on the Know Your Stars part of the show in All That. Learn who these Clique members really are and the secrets they didn't want you to know. Oh sure they will deny everything, but the announcer does not lie ...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic so please don't be too harsh. I hope you enjoy on what i tried to make a humorous first chapter of the "Know Your Stars- Clique Style". I don't think there is another one of these but I am not sure. Please tell me what you think after reading. Enjoy!**

**Know Your Stars- Clique Style**

**Chapter One**

Massie Block came into the studio excited to be finally recognized as the star she was. Being first to be interviewed was her job as alpha, of course, but she was still a little nervous. After all, she never had an experience like this before. She would just have to cover her nerves up with what would appear to be confidence and ease.

The well groomed twelve year old came onto the stage and sat on the hard metal chair waiting for the infamous voice to start up when all of a sudden…

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars," the voice spoke across the speakers.

"Yea, that's me, the star. Let's get on with the show shall we? I'm ready to answer any of the questions you may have," Massie said beaming, unaware of what was about to unfold.

"Massie Block. All her clothes are fake designer."

"What??!!?!!? Do I look like a 'frauda' bag?"

"No," the announcer replied.

"Then why do you think I'm not real?" Massie asked her retort with a sense of accomplishment while her Pretty Committee members chorused a round of 'ohhhhhs' off stage.

"Because you wear fake designer clothes."

"No I don't! You know what, just forget it. Whatevs."

"Massie Block. Her hair extensions are really made from squirrel tails."

"Emawgawd that is so disgusting and gross. And not true!"

"Then why are there a bunch of tailless squirrels running around?"

"I don't know! I don't have anything to do with it! This show isn't as cool as I thought it would be. In fact it sucks!"

"Massie Block. She has five dead bodies hidden in her closet at home."

"That's sick, just like you!"

"I'm not the one obsessed with homicide."

"Neither am I, jerk!"

"Sure you aren't," the speaker said in a sarcastic tone. "Then why is your closet so big, hmmm? Its to stuff all the bodies in!"

"I am soooooo not writing about this on my blog," Massie mumbled under her breathe.

"Now you know Massie Block"

"Ummm excuse me, no they don't. You just told them a bunch of lies. Hello? Hello?" Massie spoke, but there was no answer. The announcer had already finished telling the world about the fake designer wearing, squirrel tail collecting, murdering freak.

**Hey! Did you like it? Just click that little review button and tell me what's on your mind. I'll try and get another chapter out by this weekend. And to be honest, even if you guys don't like it, I'm gonna keep writing this story because it's fun. I'm not in this to see how many reviews I'm gonna get, I'm trying to share my writing with everyone out there. Suggestions are always welcome. Dylan will be the second "interviewed" if you are wondering.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone. This is the second chapter of the "Know Your Stars- Clique Style" fanfic. This one is going to be Dylan so I hope you enjoy. Your questions comments and suggestions are appreciated:) So go ahead and Read. That's right, stop reading this and get to the actual story…… I mean NOW!!!!! Jk**

**Know Your Stars- Clique Style**

**Chapter Two- Dylan **

Upon entering the studio, Dylan had suddenly come up with a case of nerves. Millions of people would be watching her on national television! Not that that was necessarily a bad thing. She just had to be prepared for whatever they might throw her way. Backstage, the red-haired beauty thought of different things they might say to her on the show, so that she could think of an answer ahead of time. Then the most frightening thing of all hit her: the camera adds ten pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dylan Marvil started walking on to the stage and gracefully sat herself down on the chair which was located right in front of the camera. She began to worry if she looked even fatter on the television screen and to wonder where everyone was when….

"Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars," the announcer said, the same way he began every show.

"Wow," was all Dylan could manage.

"Dylan Marvil. Her bathing suits are all made from Chihuahua skin."

"Emawgawd, what?????!!!??!? If you think that then you seriously need help, like a lot." Dylan had to say something that time.

"I think you are the one who needs the help. I mean, Chihuahua skin? Who wears that?. Just freaks like you!" the announcer retorted.

"What are you talking about?"

"There's no need to deny what we already know to be true. You just like the soft feeling of that particular type of small dog skin rubbing up against your body while you take a dip in the pool. It's psychotic, but true."

"True? Rrrrrrrrr hmmff"

"Dylan Marvil. Her favorite activity is seducing all the teachers in her school so she won't fail."

"Eeeeewwwwwwwww. That is one of the most ridiculous things ever! None of them are hot!"

"That sure didn't stop you from giving a lap dance to your English teacher and getting an A for it."

"I got an A cuz I worked hard."

"Of course you did. Then how many letters are there in the English alphabet?"

"Uuuuuuuhhhhh"

"See"

"Hold on a second I'm counting! All right all right. I also paid the nerds and geeks to do the work for me."

"So you gave them a lap dance too?"

"No! That's not what I meant."

'Dylan Marvil. Her one goal in life is to become a urineoligist."

"First of all I don't even know what that means."

"It means you work with pee, stupid!"

" I don't want to do that! Its like, ga- ross! I want to become a fashion designer when I get older and make ah-dorable clothes.

" Like, if you don't want to become one then why are you, like oh-bsessed with it?" the speaker mimicked her voice, though Dylan was too infuriated, and dumb to realize it.

"I'm not obsessed with pee!"

"Oh come, now. Why don't you tell the folks at home how you collect it from dogs in the neighborhood?"

"Excuse me? I wa-" Dylan started to argue but was interrupted.

"Its fascinating really. She sneaks over to the neighboring houses at night to collect the urine from the dogs who are put out side, along with the pee from strays."

"Why don't you shut your big-ass mouth up!"

"Now you know, Dylan Marvil. The Chihuahua skin wearing, lap dance performing, aspiring urineoligist psychotic."

"What are you talking about?? They don't know me! It was all false don't believe a word!" Dylan tried to inform the world. But of course, the voice was gone in a flash, leaving Dylan pleading to the viewers to disregard _all that_ was said only to be taken away by the security guards.

**So, what did you think? I hoped you guys liked it as it was fun to write. Comments and suggestions are nice, so go ahead review. Don't be shy. Come on. You can do it. **

**Oh, by the way, did you notice the little all that reference in italics? Giggle giggle **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi people! It's time for the exciting new third chapter! I forgot to mention in the end of the last chapter that the next person would be Alicia so I'm telling you now. I hope you guys like it. Enjoy. **

**Know Your Stars- Clique Style **

**Chapter Three- Alicia **

Alicia felt good walking into the backstage area of the Know Your Stars set with her fellow Pretty Committee members, wearing her favorite Ralph Lauren outfit looking as sultry as ever. Of course there could be tons of things to worry and panic over, but suddenly the Spanish beauty had this air of confidence inside of her. Maybe it was from the practice she had on Merri Lee Marvil's show. Whichever way, she was definitely eager to head on to the actual stage.

Sitting down in the center of the stage on that silver metal chair made Alicia feel like a real star, not that she wasn't in her own way! It couldn't have been more than 10 seconds after she sat down and began applying a fresh coat of lip gloss when…

"Know your stars know your stars know your stars," the announcer started up the show while Alicia quickly put away her lip gloss in her Coach clutch.

"Hi everyone!" Alicia cheerfully said with a quick wave of the hand.

"Alicia Rivera. She is really a hot-"

"Given, thanks," interrupted the long haired, thin waisted, big chested, tanned 'star'.

"If you will please let me finish," the announcer stated with an annoyed tone in his voice. "Ahem. Alicia Rivera. She is really a hot bowl of chili in disguise."

"What did you just say? Cuz I know you don't think I am a fattening high calorie sickening food product!"

"Well then you thought wrong, girl!" the announcer replied after which three snaps were heard over the speakers.

"That makes no sense."

"Of course it does. Every morning you put on your pre-teen disguise because your real identity is a bowl of meat products in sauce. She's just a little slow in the head, folks at home."

"Don't listen to this maniac!" she screamed at the camera.

"Alicia Rivera. Her real last name is-"

"Don't say it!" the Spaniard yelled in worry.

The voice continued, "is puke."

"Wait a second, puke? That's not even close."

"Then why were you trying so hard to get me not to say it, hmmm?"

"Because I thought you were going to say………………….. something else," Alicia hesitated.

"Sure you were. You just didn't want your disgusting last name to be revealed on television."

"That's not true!"

Pukey Pukey Pukey, your last name is puke! Hey, how's it going Miss Puke? Awww, do you not feel well? Maybe you should puke, Alicia Puke!" the announcer mocked and teased.

"You are so D2M," Alicia grumbled.

"Alicia Puke. She stuffs her bra with tissue paper every morning."

"Excuse me, these are _real_," Alicia said while pointing to her chest with both fingers.

"Would you like to prove that?"

"Ewww, no you pervert!"

"Of course you wouldn't. You know the truth. You are a bra stuffer."

Suddenly a D-sized bra came flying toward the camera while a teenage boy from the audience picked it up and yelled, "Cool, a collectible!" And went running toward the exit laughing maniacally.

"Ok then," Alicia said. "But see, I don't stuff my bra otherwise tons of tissue paper would have come flying out! Ha."

"It's obvious, you're wearing more than one bra."

"There's just no convincing you."

"There she is, the bowl of hot chili, puking Miss Puke, bra stuffing weirdo. So, now you know Alicia Puke"

"I told you that's not my last name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**So, was this chapter better? Please review so I know what to improve on. Thanks to all the people who have reviewed already, you guys really help! I'll start working on the fourth chapter soon, who will be Kristen so look out for it! Till then…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello all my dear and kind readers! This fourth chapter of the who knows how many chapter story is about Kristen, as I mentioned before. Hope it meets your comic standards and is pleasant to read. Sometimes I don't notice mistakes or I just make them and don't know they are mistakes, even if I stare at them and they are in front of my face, so reading and reviewing (r&r, I know) is important so that future chapters will be even better. Assuming that's what you guys want. So go ahead enjoy the chapter……………………………………………….. **

**Know Your Stars- Clique Style **

**Chapter Four: Kristen **

While watching her fellow Pretty Committee members on stage being tortured as they so mercilessly were, Kristen felt sorry for them, but also angry and disappointed in them for not fighting back more. Sure Massie got in her typical insult in the beginning and of course Alicia tried to defend herself by stating good points, but in the end the announcer had remained victorious and in the process humiliated her friends with lies. She, however, was going to be different and take down that lying speaker once and for all with her witty responses. After all… she could move you to tears (not in the good way) faster than she could score a goal in soccer or answer a difficult math question or solve a complicated puzzle or………………… well you get the idea

Kristen walked onto the stage acting tough and ready for anything the announcer had planned to say. She plopped herself into the chair and crossed her arms, just waiting for

"Know You Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars."

"Before you say another word, I would advise you to keep you cool and stop blurting out lies, otherwise you will be the one suffering humiliation when this is over with," Kristen said with pride. The audience could hear a round of applause and "you get em' girl"'s from TPC who were currently watching Kristen, anxious to see her tear the announcer apart as they knew she was fully capable of doing.

Right after TPC stopped cheering for Kristen, a group of five security guards came on stage and grabbed the athletic blond by the arms. Even this strong intelligent pre-teen could not get out of a situation like this.

"What the fuck!!! What are you doing to me???!?!1? Let go!! I demand you get your grimy hands off me! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

It was too late. The security guards had tied her up to the chair with a rope and taped her mouth shut so that it was impossible for her to talk. Massie and co. couldn't help her since they were held back by security guards which left poor Kristen in a very uncomfortable position.

"There that's better!" the voice said after the whole process was completed. "Now let's get on with the show shall we? Let me begin again. Ahem. Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars. Kristen Gregory. Her favorite activity is picking her nose."

"Mfffffffffffffff!!!!! Hmmmmfffffffmmaaaafffffffffffhhhhmmmm," was all Kristen could manage.

"See, she agrees! Isn't that right you little nose picker?"

"Mfffffffffhhhhhhammmmm!"

"Kristen Gregory. She carries around an extra roll of toilet paper for her 'special needs'."

"Mffffff. Hmmmmmmaaaafffffmmmm!" At this point, Kristen's muffled groans and evil stares at the camera were her only way of disagreeing with whatever the announcer said. After all, she wasn't going to let the speaker get away with his false-tellings, even if it meant fighting for herself in the least successful way possible.

"She doesn't really like to talk about it folks. Let's just say you never see her with a small purse since it can't fit her extra soft mega-roll double ply toilet paper. Its quite sad really."

A sigh and another groan could be heard from Kristen's direction.

"Kristen Gregory. Her best friend is a chimp."

"Hmmmmfffffff! Mffaaaffmmmmmfff!"

"She even talks like one, just listen! The chimp's name is Francisas. Unfortunetly she couldn't join us today. Looks like Francisas is smarter that our babbling maniac over there. Wherever you are out there Francisas, you can do better!"

Suddenly out of the audience a tall women with thick glasses was seen getting up out of her seat and briskly walking towards the stage. Kristen turned even paler than she was without a tan and then blushed out of humiliation. It was her mom.

"I knew I should have never let you on this show young lady. You are coming with me. We'll talk about this in the car," Kristen's strict mom yelled at her. She started to drag the chair off the stage with Kristen still in it.

"Now you know, Kristen Gregory."

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!" the braniac said, muffled since the tape had not been taken off her mouth.

"Make sure you take that extra soft toilet paper you left back stage home with you!" the announcer teased, and then was gone.

"Mfffffffffffffffffffff!" Kristen tried one last time. In the end, she was more embarrassed and ashamed than all of TPC combined.

**Little different than the norm, I know. But tell me what you thought about this twist. I was trying to paint a picture in your heads but it might not have come out as it came out in mine. Reviews would be nice. Next chapter is Claire which should be interesting. Thanks again!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi!!!!!!! So this is chapter five and I hope you guys like it. Sorry it took a little longer this time. Hopefully the next chapter won't take that long. I've worked hard on this so enjoy! **

**Know Your Stars- Clique Style**

**Chapter Five: Claire **

Now it was her turn. The moment she was waiting for, the moment where she would have to get up on that stage and act cool and confident in front of millions of viewers with the possibility of total mortification caused by the weirdo of an announcer. She had seen the other members of TPC crash and burn (metaphorically speaking of course) in an instant and they were much more self-assured and relaxed than she was. At this point Claire was signaled to go on stage which caused her to panic and forget everything Massie told her about how to look when on camera and she started to bite her fingernails.

Claire didn't really have a plan and even if she did it would have sucked. She just planned to wing it and go with the flow. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all, although that thought quickly escaped her head while she jumped out of her seat thanks to the booming voice going…………………………………………………

"Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars," the speaker said.

Claire remained silent while smiling a nervous smile at the camera and at the same time chewing her right pinky nail.

"Cl- Achhhh Acchhhh ccckkkk," was the coughing sound heard over the speakers which had everyone covering their ears. "Can someone get me some water over here? My throat's killing me." Next a few shuffling noises followed by a series of gurgles was the sound the audience members heard. "Thanks. Aheeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmm. Claire Lyons. She has a cage of spiders hidden in her basement."

"Ummm. Excuse me, I don't have any spiders anywhere. You must be mistaken."

"Don't play dumb. We all know how you keep them so that you can eat them on your favorite dishes, like spider pasta."

"Ewww. The only kind of spiders I eat are the gummy ones"

"You only pretend they are candy when really they are the real thing."

"No I don't," Claire said weakly.

"Spider eater, spider eater!"

"I told you I don't eat and/or keep spiders in my basement!" Claire tried to stand up for herself.

"Claire Lyons. Her toothpaste is made of liquidated possum."

"What is with you and all these gross lies?"

"I could say the exact same thing about you possum tooth-brusher."

"That doesn't even make sense. Where would I get this so-called disgusting toothpaste anyway?"

"You have your ways. Besides it does make sense. I mean, your teeth are kinda yellow.

Claire put her hand over her mouth, knowing that her teeth weren't a perfect pearly white color. "Are not!!!!!!" She really wished she went with Massie to get her teeth whitened.

"Claire Lyons. She's having an affair with Tiny Nathan." Todd punched his petite friend on the arm while Tiny Nathan blushed furiously in the audience.

"That is soooooo wrong. I can barely even think about it."

"It didn't seem that way last Saturday night when you were getting freaky with the little guy in your bedroom."

"That's not true! And its waaayy perverted, you , you ….. pervert!!!!"

"Real nice word usage on your part, Real nice," the announcer said sarcastically making fun of Claire. "And anyway, you are the one who did that, not me. Shall I remind you of your make-out sessions in the park?

"What make-out sessi-"

"And I believe Tiny Nathan still has some of your granny-panties at home, don't you Nathan?" Tiny Nathan began to shake his head but after a nudge from Todd started to nod yes.

"He's lying too!" Claire replied.

With one final budge from Claire's mischievous little brother, Tiny Nathan leapt onto the stage and started to make kissy faces at Claire.

"Ewwww," Claire grimaced while backing away slowly

The blonde's pursuer licked his lips heavy with saliva as well as his hands. This only made Claire even more disgusted so she ran away from the small boy who soon followed screaming, "Come back, come back!" Not wanting to be left alone, Todd chased after his friend saying "Wait for me!!!!!" Claire and Todd Lyons' mother was now on her feet and trying to get them both to stop running by participating in the free-for-all. "Stop that right now or both of you are grounded!" But that didn't cease the race. "I'll help you dear," came the voice of Mr. Lyons closely running behind his wife who was running after Todd who was running after Tiny Nathan who was running after Claire.

"Well would you look at the time! Got to go folks. Now you know Claire Lyons. The spider eating, possum toothpaste brushing, love making to ten year-olds bizzaro. And can somebody please stop them?"

**Well how was that? This really didn't take me so long to write (I finished it in one sitting) unlike the others. I'm not sure if that means it was worse than the other chapters, better, or I just had a lot of juices flowing. So, why don't you tell me. Looking forward to reviews from my readers. Thanks again;) **

**Oh yea, I just finished It's Not Easy Being Mean, the seventh book in the series. It was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey ppls. This is the sixth chapter that I am sorry did not come out earlier. Hopefully I can make it up to you guys. Anyway, this is spring break for me so I'll have more time to do stuff, like write these chapters. So, read on…**

**Know Your Stars- Clique Style**

**Chapter Six: Layne **

Oh boy! She thought. This would be her defining moment. The moment she would be on television and express and show the world her individuality and uniqueness. Layne was wearing her favorite light wash jeans that had a key chain for every loop hole of the pants. With her I believe in… living your dreams mondonation shirt, Nike bright green sneakers, and ten watches of multi colors on each wrist she was the most original girl in all of Westchester.

Unfortunetly, Layne had no idea of the trouble that was about to unravel when she stepped onto that stage. She came to the studio late and hadn't seen the other girls' 'interviews.' She was toast.

The stage director signaled to Layne who immediately walked onto the set waving to the audience who were politely clapping, except for her brother Chris Abbely who held a huge sign with her name on it. While moving to her chair, she had to dodge what looked like her friend Claire being chased by Tiny Nathan, Todd, and Mrs. and Mr. Lyons. I don't wanna know, she thought to herself.

As soon as she sat down on that cold metal chair the voice of torture started up…

"Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars."

"Hey thanks!" Layne said cheerfully.

"Layne Abbely. She has no parents."

"Hey I have a mommy and a daddy!" Fits of suppressed laughter came from the audience. "I mean…. uuhhh a mother and a father, of course."

"Then where are they?"

"They're on a business trip for your information," the individual replied with an air of victory.

"Sure they are."

"Well that doesn't even make sense. I _have_ to have a mom and dad, otherwise where would I come from?"

"Layne Abbely. She's an alien!"

"Alien??!?!!!?"

"You heard me, you alien."

"I am not an alien, you freak."

"Look who's talking. Go back to the planet you came from, space invader."

"I don't even look like an alien which proves you wrong!"

"Well you sure dress like one." Giggles from tpc came from behind the scenes.

"That's not funny, I just have my own style." Layne attempted.

"Layne Abbely. She has no idea she's about to be catapulted out of the building back to her planet."

"What the..! You wouldn't dare"

"Watch us." As he said this a giant wooden catapult came up from the floor and onto the stage."

"Whoaaaahhh," the audience gasped.

Five minutes later Layne was in the catapult about to be thrown across the sky.

"Bye bye Alien."

"I don't like yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu," Layne said as they let go of the rope that held the catapult down."

"Hmm what should we do now?" the announcer asked.

Ten seconds later a screaming sound could be heard and then a large thump while something broke through the ceiling.

"Owww" Layne said in pain rubbing her knee on the stage floor.

"Hmm. Guess they didn't want you either. Oh well. Now you know Layne Abbely."

"No they don't," Layne said softly as she walked off the stage.

**So that's it. Like it? It was hard to write about my fav character this way, but hey, that's what Know Your Stars is all about, right? Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter and you guys can leave your commentary with a review that is much appreciated. Next up is…. Layne's friends. Till then**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! Yeah, so I'm updating yeah. Yeah. What more do you want from me?!!!!???????!!!!! Sorry psycho moment. Anyway thanks to all my loyal r&rer's and even my not so loyal r&rer's. Hope you like this chapter!**

**Know Your Stars- Clique Style **

**Chapter Seven: Meena and Heather**

"I told you we should have brought the directions just in case!" Meena scolded Heather.

"Well sorry, but it wasn't my fault that the local college was having an annual parade down the main road on the way to the studio that the producer of this show neglected to tell us about!" Heather argued.

"We should have come when they first started the interviews."

"Why would we want to do that?" Heather asked.

"To see the Layne and Claire!"

"We'll see their interviews in a week when they're on television!"

"But still"

Meena and Heather arrived at the studio a half hour later than when they were supposed to start their agony, as they would soon find out. They were wearing matching shirts that said 'drop ideas, not bombs' hoping to give the world a message while they had the chance. Because of their delayed arrival, the audience was half asleep from the boredom of waiting.

"What's with this crowd?" Meena asked.

"Who knows?"

A second chair had been brought out for the unusual pair so that they'd both have a seat. Heather and Meena sat down and began quietly talking when a loud snoring sound came from the speakers. "Chhhhhhhhsssshoooooochhhhhhsssshhhooooooo."

"Hey who's snoring?" Heather yelled.

"Ahem ahem. Sorry about that…eerrrr…technical difficulties."

"Technical difficulties my foot," Meena muttered under her breath.

"Ok audience it's time to get up. We all have a job to do and it won't look good if you guys are snoring in the background while I'm torturing, I mean interviewing these two. Now get up!" the announcer demanded.

The crowd remained restless and paid no mind to the voice that was disturbing their slumber.

Suddenly a loud noise that sounded like a foghorn awoke everyone and made them jump two feet in the air because of the surprise.

"There that got you up. Thanks for the prop Benny," the voice said. "Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars."

The girls waved at the camera happily. "Hello United States of America and wherever else this is airing!" Heather shouted.

"Heather and Meena. They like scratching their butt."

"Ewwwww. Gross. That's way disturbing," Meena replied with disgust.

"Not to mention a lie," Heather added.

"Butt pickers."

"Stop calling us that"

"Yeah!"

"Butt picker butt picker!"

"Are you going to ask us real questions or not?" Heather inquired.

"Heather and Meena. They don't know how to do any mathematics."

"What? Yes we do!"

"We're mathletes!"

"Hell, they barely know what mathematics means!"

"Ten times ten is one hundred. There, I just proved you wrong!"

"She had to study real hard to grasp that concept. Their tutor was backstage helping them prep for the show just in case something like this would come up. Come on, take a bow Mark!"

A teenage boy of about fifteen with thick rimmed glasses came out on stage and gave a wave to the audience.

"We've never seen him before in our lives!"

"See, they are so dumb they don't even recognize the guy who's been helping them with math for five years! It's all right stupid and brainless, we'll 'reacquaint' you guys after the show."

"I told you we're not-"

"Meena and Heather. They had sex with each other crushes."

"I would never do that with Heather's crush. I'm not that heartless!" Meena defended.

"Yeah and I would never do that with Meena's crush." Heather replied.

The two friends quickly hugged each other in a tight embrace when all of a sudden Heather added, "Although I did see you two together after school one day chatting it up……"

"Are you saying I did sleep with him??"

"All I'm saying is that it looked a little suspicious how you and you-know-who were standing so close together and acting a little friendly."

"Well then how do I know that you don't have something going on with my crush just to get back at me, for something I didn't do?"

"You don't." Meena simply stated.

At that moment Heather leaped on Meena and started throwing punches right and left while the other of the pair kicked and flailed her arms.

"I knew something was going on with you two!"

"Nothing is going on. And even if it were you started something with you-know-who first!"

"Maybe the audience would like to know who the alleged boy is!"

"You wouldn't dare," Meena spoke.

"Rob," Heather coughed.

"Oh yea? Well, Alonzo," Meena sneezed.

The two started to fight even harder and throw each other across the stage. The crowd started to chant "catfight" and throw tomatoes at them (don't ask where they got the tomatoes it's a long story). It was so intense two security guards had to pull the fighting preteens apart, only because the company didn't want to get sued.

"You little skank!" Heather shouted as she was being pulled to the left side of the stage.

"YOU SLUT!" Meena yelled at the opposite end of the stage.

"I HATE YOU! I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!"

"I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL BITCH!"

The audience was loving every minute of this entertainment and was cheering louder than ever before.

"Aww that's a shame! Good-bye you dim-witted whore butt pickers you! Now you know Heather and Meena."

**Well that's it for Chapter seven. Tell me how you liked this one or if you even liked this one at all. Again nice comments, constructive criticism, I'll take it. Thanks everyone for reading, now just review! The next chapter should be Olivia, that could be interesting. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! I see you have come back for more…..well there isn't anymore! Mwaaaahhaaahhaaahhhaaamwaaahhhaaahhhaaaa! Just kidding! Of course there's more. Here's the next chapter with Olivia. **

**Know Your Stars-Clique Style **

**Chapter Eight: Olivia **

Olivia, as perky and blonde as ever, strided toward the stage in a bubbly mood. She was oblivious to the previous verbal abuse the speaker gave the girls before her, so she was excited to be on television with millions of people watching her. Nervous? A little. But she knew if this interview went well, Massie and the rest of TPC might accept her as the cool pretty girl she is, instead of just Alicia treating her this way.

The dumb preteen took her seat in the chair and revealed a big pearly white smile to the audience, obviously thrilled to be there. Then a few seconds later…………….

"Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars."

"Woahhhhhh. Who just said that? Are you a ghost or something?"

"Olivia Ryan. She's an alcoholic."

"An alcho- what?"

"An alcoholic."

"Yeah I heard what you said, but what does it mean?"

"It _means_ you're addicted to alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Well why didn't you just say so? Wait a second!!!!!!!!"

"She raids her parent's liquor cabinet every night."

"I do not! The only time I had something to drink was at my cousins wedding and that was only a sip!"

"The water in her water bottle isn't really water. It's vodka."

"No it's not!"

"Olivia Ryan. She's an ablutophobic."

"I don't even know what that means!"

"Yeah and neither do we!" someone from the audience shouted.

"For cryin out loud," the announcer muttered. "It means she's afraid of washing and bathing herself!"

"Ewwwww," the audience all gasped in unison. All of them began to hold their noses and fan the air around their faces.

"No! It's not what you think! I take a shower every night!"

"She reeks! We had to use about fifty bottles of air freshener and blast all the fans just to get the smell out of here!"

"Hey I-"

"Olivia Ryan. She discriminates against scientologists." (**ok I don't usually do this but is scientologists capitalized or not?)**

"Science is my favorite subject!" At this massively idiotic proclamation the people in the audience burst out with fits of laughter.

"What?" Olivia asked genuinely confused.

"Will someone please get her a dictionary?" the speaker said getting annoyed. A person who looked to be someone from the backstage crew brought out a pocket sized dictionary and handed it to Olivia. A few minutes later and a lot of page turning after…..

"I can't find it!"

"I bet she's not even in the right letter!" someone from the crowd joked.

"I am too! I'm in the letter…………oops."

"For the love of," the announcer groaned.

Five minutes later and… "Can you just tell me already?"

"That's it I give up! Look, now you know Olivia Ryan the alcoholic ablutophobic discriminating freak, you know the drill," the speaker said before his voice left the stage.

"Wait, wait that's not fair! I just don't know what he's talking about, that's all! Don't go away! You don't really know me! Look, look at me! I'm hot! Stop! I still don't know what scientologist means!"

The camera zoomed out.

"I take showers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**Yep that was chapter eight. And just a quick note: I'm not saying it's bad to be an alcoholic, an ablutophobic or a scientologist. The first two are just problems some peple have and the last is a belief. So don't take the above offensively becuz it really is not meant that way nor is it written that way. So it's okay if you are one or more of those things. This fanfic was just for comedy purposes. On a lighter note, comments are always appreciated so blah da blah blah you know what comes next. Thanks for reading and look out for the next chapter starring none other than……Massie's parents, the Blocks! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi guys. I know this isn't a real chapter and that I haven't been here in a reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy long time, but I thought maybe it was time to start the story up again. If you guys want me to I definitely will. And if you don't want me to I might do it anyway. I'd just like some feedback. Since I don't want to be sued or something here's just a little bit of what might have been going on during what I guess you could call this long intermission……………………..**

Massie and the rest of TPC were escorted to the rooms they would be staying in for the night at the studio. It was now night time and the contracts the girls signed to get on the show required them to sit through all the interviews until they were all completed. They all had to stay in one room with five beds to all the girls' disappointment. Sure they all luv each other, but a girl needs her personal space, especially at the end of a bad day.

"First we get completely humiliated on television, and now we all have to share one room??????" Massie asked annoyed at the situation.

"Well at least it's all over," Claire said relieved as she plopped down on one of the beds her face toward the poorly painted ceiling.

"Ummmmm. You're forgetting one thing: _Our parents_ have to be tortured in front of the whole country tomorrow. And if they're tortured we're tortured," Kristen replied. (the producers quickly brought her back to the set after her mother dragged her away due to the contract.)

All the girls let out a heavy groan and retreated to their beds, all imagining what kind of suffering their parents, and therefore them, would have to go through on the next day of Know Your Stars……………………

**Trust me if I start up again it will b better than this. This was just so people wouldn't complain I was abusing the whole story chapter fanfic thing. So tell me if you guys want me start up again or not. Thanks for reading after all this time and let me know what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


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